Ok! Ok! I'm back! for real this time!

OMG! I totally forgot about my blogspot! Maybe its because I don't have many followers but I'm suppose to keep posting so I can get more! DUH! Plus, apparently all of my friends are into Tumblr but I don't like how that is set up so um....NO not for me haha.

ANYWAYS! I think my last post was about how summer is coming well...now...summer is ending *tear tear* I have about 3 weeks until I go back to school ugh! BUT on the bright side it will be my senior year of high school! woohoo! Then my high school career is over & on to college.......scary!!

I'm totally freaked out about applying to college, not college itself, just applying. Well, because I made some BIG mistakes in my high school career and like any great leader I learned tremendously from them however, even though I have learned from them and now I am a better person, student and leader because of them, they still leave a big stain on my transcript *sad face*. So, I will have to rely on essays and other factors to balance out that stuff. Besides the college stuff I am stoked for senior year! My goal this year = NO REGRETS! I will live for every moment while keeping my morals intact lol. But I do have one big worry for this year.....MONEY! Senior year is extremely costly! I will have countless things to pay for and I am currently jobless! AAAAHHHH!!!! Besides my stuff for senior year, I have to think about my graduation present, which is a trip to Seoul, South Korea. That is the thing with the biggest price tag. I am estimating around $4,000! Thats for round trip flight tickets, a hotel for 14 days, and spending money!! AAAAHHH!!! so another one of my many goals for this year is to get a job & save money for my trip. Other than my financial & college worries, senior year will be a blast! Being the big dogs of the school, countless social gatherings, prom, graduation, all night party, and tons and tons of graduation parties! including my own! woot woot! I just can not wait! Even though there will be lots of partying and fun I will still be on top of my school work, I don't plan on catching senioritis this year. Actually, I feel more on top of my game than any other year! I think its because I've grown SO MUCH during these 3 years of high school that im prepared to take on the world!! But before I take on the world I need to finished these summer reading assignments! hahaha. I'm no where near done but I'm still ahead of some people, ain't that sad?? lol oh well :)

I'm sure ya'll want to know about my summer....well....it was pretty boring. I didn't do too much. Nothing worth blogging about except CAMP!! MASC/MAHS summer camp was amazing!!! I loved it! I miss it!! I miss the people the most!! but I can go on about camp for days so I will not get into that right now lol.

ALSO! I created a Youtube page for my covers and vlogs!

http://www.youtube.com/user/IamJasmuzik

I'm still a little shy in front of the camera but I will grow out of it with time~ :) check it out!!

So I will do my best to document the awesome-ness that will be my senior year the best I can!

Smell ya later!!! ^__~

Summer is coming~!

Yay!! So, its memorial day weekend and I can just feel summer coming! The weather is great and the mood is mellow and I love it! This is summer is going to be super dumb awesome! I can't wait! I have worked hard this year so i'm excited to get take a break!! woohoo!!

but for now I still have a few more days of school left. I still got a few homework assignments left, and I still have finals, but it will all be over soon! OMG! summer is so close yet so far!!

Summer come to me!!

and yea during the summer I will mos def update more on my blog. I've been really preoccupied lately but when summer comes I won't have so much work to do (unless I get a job).

So yea! Look forward to my summer antics!

'Till next time!

Jasmine~

Okay....well lets start with the worst...

I'm back! Yay! Now it is time to get caught up with all that has been happening with me ^__^

Lets start from the worst.....

So, about a month ago I had the worst experience of my life! It is possibly one of the worst days of my life. So let me set it up from the beginning.....Sometime in the middle of March around 5:15pm I was leaving a music lesson and I was driving, I pulled onto the driveway to leave the complex where my music lessons are held, note this driveway is on about a 60 degree angle and I drive a 2002 Ford Explorer so i'm pretty high up, so I am sitting on this driveway waiting for traffic to clear so I can make my turn. Now, this is during rush hour so there is plenty of traffic that will keep me waiting. So, I'm waiting and i'm looking for my cell phone, i'm looking everywhere, in my purse, on the seats, etc. and I can't find it. So, I assume that I left in the music academy, So I start to back up off the the driveway/ramp thing, and naturally I check my mirrors and what not and continue to back up. Then! I hit something. Now since I didn't see anything in my mirrors I thought I just hit one of the poles in the parking lot, no biggie. So, I pull forward again back onto the driveway ramp, I'm doing all of this while still vigorously looking for my phone, then I find my phone hidden in the crevices of my big purse lol. Traffic finally clears and I make my turn. So, there I am driving along the road, listening to music, ♪♫ nodding my head like yea! moving my hips like yea ♪♫ lol. Then all of a sudden some chubby, white, Jewish guys pulls along side of me and tells me to pull over because I apparently hit him (and not a pole) in the parking lot. So, I pull over, seeing no disastrous damage done to his car. We pull over to a Walgreens parking lot to examine the damage and this guy has the nerve to make a big fuss over a scratch that was literally no bigger than my pinky finger!! He exaggerates saying it will cost him $800 and a week in the body shop to get that fixed, and of course I rebut that by saying there is no way in hell that it will take that long and cost that much to fixed such a minuscule scratch. Then he claims that he has metallic black paint and what not on his car, and i'm thinking WTF!! He drives a 2002 Pontiac Aztec! Metallic paint my a**!! I continue to say its not that bad and such. Then I say things like "I don't know what you want me to do.", "I don't understand what you are saying.", "Do you need my insurance information or what.". At this point he can tell that I don't care too much about his little scratch and finally realizes that i'm a minor and I don't own my car. So I tell him yea "This is my car but my father owns it.". And that quote must have triggered something in his brain to do something so nasty, disrespectful and degrading to me.....it just.....UGH!! I can't even put it in words.

So not long after I tell him that I don't own my car he says "You just want this to go away don't you?" and i'm like "well, I don't think its a big deal, you can barely see it." and stuff like that. And this man has the audacity to do him sexual favors in exchange for keeping things "quiet" about this situation! And the way he said is what really burned my blood! He said it so casually, like it was okay, like there was nothing wrong with it at all. He said things like "why don't we pull into this alley and just take care of this now." and at first i'm like "Huh?" (I can be a little slow) and he repeats himself and adding "you know give a little bit of head..." and I'm like "Whoa! what!?!?" Now, being the nice person I am and still not completely understanding what he is saying to me, I did not proceed to yell and scream. He kept saying things like "yea we can take care of this right now and your dad doesn't have to know about" and yadda yadda ya....and i'm like "I can't do that I would rather you take my insurance info down." That doesn't effect him and he continues to insist that I do these things for him. Making up excuses just to get out of the situation I said "well I have to be somewhere in like 10 minutes so..." and the next thing he said still brings a cringe to my face. He said "It's okay, I cum quickly." Whoa! not cool! and certainly nothing you say out loud ew!!! So, i continue to insist that I can't do what he is asking. Then he asks "Do you shave your cooch?" Another strike! WTF!?!?! "Thats none of your business!" i said.

This guys had absolutely no shame whatsoever! Now, remember that this guy is an middle-aged (possibly late 20s), very chubby, white, jewish guy, who desperately needed to shave his face. Not attractive at all! (no offense to the Jewish community. I love the Jews :D) So, yea, the fact that he looked that way that he did just added fuel to the fire of disgust! He was really gross.

So after all that, the guy finally gets the picture and sees that i'm not interested in no way shape or form, and takes down my insurance info but even while taking my info down he still tries to get me to do those things (and he sees the cops nearby, which he uses to try to scare me into doing him the favors) & even after he sees my drivers license that clearly states that I am a minor. That man had no shame at all. I think that is what disgusted me the most. So, after all of we disperse. I drive off FURIOUS! speeding home, to tell my father, calling repeatedly calling my mother only to get no answer (the only time she doesn't answer the phone! at a time like that! gosh! lol) When I get home I bust through the door, swing my dads bedroom door open to tell him what happened. He took down all the info I knew about him and we made a police report the next day....

I will have to tell you all of my after thoughts of this incident next time. Now, i'm drained!

Until Next Time,

Jasmine

I'm back!

Yay!! I'm back!

After about a month hiatus, i'm finally back! :)

In the last month there has been sooooo much going on! Some good and some terribly bad.

I will tell you all that in due time. The 3 weeks before spring break were the craziest and most eventful. I wish I can say it all right now but that would be to much lol.

I don't even know where to start!

I will figure it out ^_^

Aren't you glad i'm back??

you better be.......

Jasmine~

so many thoughts!!

so...the current "not-jasmine" state that i'm in has put sooooooo many thoughts into my head. Many deep thoughts that I would usually never think. There is so many that I don't even know where to start. I have literally started and erased this blog post about 3 or 4 times. I just don't know where to start, or even how to put them in words without rambling or sounding crazy! Because i'm not, well maybe just a little bit hehe but so is everyone. ^_^

Anyway, I wouldn't even have to try to find a way to start this blog if i had someone to talk to. And the sad thing is I have plenty of people to talk to its just will they listen and try to understand whats happening or will they start going on about their problems (because im such a great listener). Thats one thought i've been having, everyone around me feels so safe and secure to talk to me about their problems, which is great! I love that they feel comfortable with me, thats exactly how I want it, but I don't feel they same. I want to talk to my friends about whats on my mind but I just can't and I don't know why. The words start to come but the stop right before my mouth forms them. I just don't know(i say that a lot)

but anyways.....I don't remember what I was talking about before and I'm going to stop before I sound crazy, but I think I have already accomplished that (great -___-")

Until My Mind is Unscrambled,

Jasmine ^___^

Stress & Emotion....... :'(

So....you know those people who hold their emotions inside even though they really shouldn't? Well, I'm one of those people. I constantly hold back my feelings, and put them into my little "bubble". Well....finally my bubble is starting to pop. Slowly, but surely.

Lately, I have been under a lot of stress from school and stuff (like I said in my previous blog hehe) . I handle stress really, really well, but lately when i'm stressed i have started to lash out on people, which is something that I never do. Normally, I would control and suppress these emotions, but lately I can't control it! The harsh words come up my throat like vomit! I can't suppress them anymore. (it literally feels like vomit though! lol it like comes from my gut to my through my mouth lol how weird is that?!?!)

But its not like I go around yelling and cussing at people! Hell no! I'm too classy for that :D. There is something that triggers my word vomit. I can't quite put my finger on it but I think it is when people frustrate me, that is when the word vomit is ignited. And in this word vomit contains, yelling, harsh words, insults, curse words and whatever else is on my mind that, normally, I would never say.

After, the word vomit has finished I feel better, briefly, after a few minutes I start to think "OMG! Did I hurt their feelings?? I hope I didn't!" I hate to hurt peoples feelings but with the word vomit (lol that name...!) no one is safe.

All of this stress and emotion is taking a toll on my personality and aura! Normally, I'm a bright bubbly person but lately, I can barely crack a smile! I think even my sense of humor is being effected! I have become very serious! eeeewwww! I want my old self back!

I know that this won't last long but its really bothering me! I think until all of my emotions and frustrations are out, I will go back to the normal Jasmine that everyone knows and loves~ :D (at least I hope so lol)

Peace & Love!

Jasmine

I Am A Busy Girl!

*sigh* These days have been really, really, tiring! And I don't see it stopping anytime soon. :'( I do a lot of sh*t! Specifically at school, but there are also things I do outside of school.I'm in clubs that take a lot of commitment and hard work and I am commited to every single one of them. It takes up so much of my time and my brain. I think that my friends who don't do as much as I do understand what some of things I go through. However, I never complain :D. Simply because I love the things that I do. I love knowing that whatever task I'm doing will benefit others and possibly bring them happiness. I don't mind sacrificing my sanity temporarily for someone else's happiness, because that happiness is what makes it all worth while. ^__^

More details on my busy-ness to come later! Sorry I couldn't elaborate more, my brain is too scrambled, I need to sleep~ lol

'Till Next Time!

Jasmine

Boy Trouble.....-____-"

So......there is this guy that i'm into. We met maybe 3 weeks ago at a friends party, and my eyes were fixed on him (he was the best looking guy there lol). It was a casual setting and I wasn't afraid to talk to him (surprisingly), we talked and he is totally cool and my type. Later, my friends ask him how he was feeling about me and he said I was cool and that I'm totally "in the green" (i just made that up! hehe). For other girls that is all they need to have confidence to "pursue" him, but not me! I'm a total dork, and I have no clue what to do!

I don't want to seem seem stalker-ish (cuz im not), desperate (cuz im not) or straight up weird (cuz I am lol) so I put SOOOOOO much thought into a casual convo, its to the point where I can't be myself cuz I don't want to seem stupid or something. All of my other friends tell me to relax and that im over-thinking stuff (and I know I am) but I can't help it hehe ^__^. I am a total nervous, shy, naive school girl when it comes to guys i'm into. So, its just natural for me to want to make a good impression. Even though I think I have already made a good one cuz he has expressed his interest in me :D. But ya know, I don't want him to lose interest in me.

But anyways, my point is that I want this relationship to "progress", if you catch my drift. Even though, this relationship is just beginning I want to see where it can go. I need some advice! I need some convo starters! lol and I need to know how to keep a guy thinking about me! HELP!

'Till Next Time!

Jasmine~ ^____^

*EDIT* P.S.: I really hope the guy that I'm writing about doesn't read this! That would be pretty embarrassing! haha! ^___^

hm....should I really start blogging??

So....Initially, I made this account just to comment on other peoples blog.

However, while going through the account making process (you know the whole email password, url, blah blah blah) I was thinking......What if I REALLY starting blogging?? Would people actually read it?? What would I say?? How would I say it??

Then I thought, this would be a great way to get all of my random dumb thoughts, random intellectual thought and my random random thoughts down and have other people see it!! How awesome would that be!!

So, I've decided to blog! Yay!! ^__^

Hopefully my blogs won't be boring (like me lol) and will entertain, teach or even inspire someone! :D

That is all for now!

Jasmine~ ^___^