so many thoughts!!

so...the current "not-jasmine" state that i'm in has put sooooooo many thoughts into my head. Many deep thoughts that I would usually never think. There is so many that I don't even know where to start. I have literally started and erased this blog post about 3 or 4 times. I just don't know where to start, or even how to put them in words without rambling or sounding crazy! Because i'm not, well maybe just a little bit hehe but so is everyone. ^_^

Anyway, I wouldn't even have to try to find a way to start this blog if i had someone to talk to. And the sad thing is I have plenty of people to talk to its just will they listen and try to understand whats happening or will they start going on about their problems (because im such a great listener). Thats one thought i've been having, everyone around me feels so safe and secure to talk to me about their problems, which is great! I love that they feel comfortable with me, thats exactly how I want it, but I don't feel they same. I want to talk to my friends about whats on my mind but I just can't and I don't know why. The words start to come but the stop right before my mouth forms them. I just don't know(i say that a lot)

but anyways.....I don't remember what I was talking about before and I'm going to stop before I sound crazy, but I think I have already accomplished that (great -___-")

Until My Mind is Unscrambled,

Jasmine ^___^

Stress & Emotion....... :'(

So....you know those people who hold their emotions inside even though they really shouldn't? Well, I'm one of those people. I constantly hold back my feelings, and put them into my little "bubble". Well....finally my bubble is starting to pop. Slowly, but surely.

Lately, I have been under a lot of stress from school and stuff (like I said in my previous blog hehe) . I handle stress really, really well, but lately when i'm stressed i have started to lash out on people, which is something that I never do. Normally, I would control and suppress these emotions, but lately I can't control it! The harsh words come up my throat like vomit! I can't suppress them anymore. (it literally feels like vomit though! lol it like comes from my gut to my through my mouth lol how weird is that?!?!)

But its not like I go around yelling and cussing at people! Hell no! I'm too classy for that :D. There is something that triggers my word vomit. I can't quite put my finger on it but I think it is when people frustrate me, that is when the word vomit is ignited. And in this word vomit contains, yelling, harsh words, insults, curse words and whatever else is on my mind that, normally, I would never say.

After, the word vomit has finished I feel better, briefly, after a few minutes I start to think "OMG! Did I hurt their feelings?? I hope I didn't!" I hate to hurt peoples feelings but with the word vomit (lol that name...!) no one is safe.

All of this stress and emotion is taking a toll on my personality and aura! Normally, I'm a bright bubbly person but lately, I can barely crack a smile! I think even my sense of humor is being effected! I have become very serious! eeeewwww! I want my old self back!

I know that this won't last long but its really bothering me! I think until all of my emotions and frustrations are out, I will go back to the normal Jasmine that everyone knows and loves~ :D (at least I hope so lol)

Peace & Love!

Jasmine

I Am A Busy Girl!

*sigh* These days have been really, really, tiring! And I don't see it stopping anytime soon. :'( I do a lot of sh*t! Specifically at school, but there are also things I do outside of school.I'm in clubs that take a lot of commitment and hard work and I am commited to every single one of them. It takes up so much of my time and my brain. I think that my friends who don't do as much as I do understand what some of things I go through. However, I never complain :D. Simply because I love the things that I do. I love knowing that whatever task I'm doing will benefit others and possibly bring them happiness. I don't mind sacrificing my sanity temporarily for someone else's happiness, because that happiness is what makes it all worth while. ^__^

More details on my busy-ness to come later! Sorry I couldn't elaborate more, my brain is too scrambled, I need to sleep~ lol

'Till Next Time!

Jasmine

Boy Trouble.....-____-"

So......there is this guy that i'm into. We met maybe 3 weeks ago at a friends party, and my eyes were fixed on him (he was the best looking guy there lol). It was a casual setting and I wasn't afraid to talk to him (surprisingly), we talked and he is totally cool and my type. Later, my friends ask him how he was feeling about me and he said I was cool and that I'm totally "in the green" (i just made that up! hehe). For other girls that is all they need to have confidence to "pursue" him, but not me! I'm a total dork, and I have no clue what to do!

I don't want to seem seem stalker-ish (cuz im not), desperate (cuz im not) or straight up weird (cuz I am lol) so I put SOOOOOO much thought into a casual convo, its to the point where I can't be myself cuz I don't want to seem stupid or something. All of my other friends tell me to relax and that im over-thinking stuff (and I know I am) but I can't help it hehe ^__^. I am a total nervous, shy, naive school girl when it comes to guys i'm into. So, its just natural for me to want to make a good impression. Even though I think I have already made a good one cuz he has expressed his interest in me :D. But ya know, I don't want him to lose interest in me.

But anyways, my point is that I want this relationship to "progress", if you catch my drift. Even though, this relationship is just beginning I want to see where it can go. I need some advice! I need some convo starters! lol and I need to know how to keep a guy thinking about me! HELP!

'Till Next Time!

Jasmine~ ^____^

*EDIT* P.S.: I really hope the guy that I'm writing about doesn't read this! That would be pretty embarrassing! haha! ^___^

hm....should I really start blogging??

So....Initially, I made this account just to comment on other peoples blog.

However, while going through the account making process (you know the whole email password, url, blah blah blah) I was thinking......What if I REALLY starting blogging?? Would people actually read it?? What would I say?? How would I say it??

Then I thought, this would be a great way to get all of my random dumb thoughts, random intellectual thought and my random random thoughts down and have other people see it!! How awesome would that be!!

So, I've decided to blog! Yay!! ^__^

Hopefully my blogs won't be boring (like me lol) and will entertain, teach or even inspire someone! :D

That is all for now!

Jasmine~ ^___^